Growing Up
by HIJKay
Summary: A look into Quinn's mind as she deals with the stress of being pregnant and going to high school. Someone unexpected comes into her life to help her through this. Could this be something more? Rachel/Quinn M for Language
1. Chapter 1

_When I grow up, I want to be famous. I want to be a star. I want to be in movies. _

I read the note a few times over Rachel's shoulder. It was taped to her binder that was sitting in her lap. Her eyes were glued to Mr. Schuester as he went over song ideas for sectionals.

The paper was yellow with age and it was written with a green crayon. The writing was big and messy, as if a child wrote it. My gaze wandered down to the slowly growing bump under my shirt and I began to wonder what she would grow up to be. A singer? Would she be a cheerio? Would she have a stutter? Would I even get to find out?

Rachel's hand shot up, making me jump as hand appeared directly in front of my face. Bringing me back to the glee meeting at hand.

Rachel prattled on about an important part of singing, blah blah blah. I tuned her out; I had bigger things to worry about. Unfortunately, Mr. Schuester raised his voice, bringing me back to glee. "Okay, so it's been decided. Everyone must come up with two suggestions for sectionals."

At that moment, everyone stood up, meaning it was safe to assume that the meeting was over with. I felt Finn grab my hand pull me back down to my seat.

"Quinn, I need to talk to you. Listen... I was fired from my job. They found out about the wheel chair."

"What?! Finn! We have a baby to raise. You don't need to be telling me this after Saturday." I could feel my anger seething from my mouth and being projected through my words. I shook my head at him and before he could say another word, I said, "Finn. I need a man." I stood up, collecting my books and walking down the benches and out of the door.

My fingers began to hurt as I held my books tightly to my chest, running through the some what empty halls. I ignored Finn as he called after me. He really was an idiot. At least Puck knows when to leave me alone. My lungs began to burn as I pushed myself harder to reach my car, my ticket away from Finn.

When I finally reached it, I leaned forward to catch my breath as I put my books on the hood of my car. Normally I would go home and hide away for a few hours, ignoring Finn's phone calls and text messages. A bitter laugh escaped my lips; my home was at Finn's now. I had no place to escape to.

I stared at the driver's side door, willing myself to get in. I laid a hand on my baby bump before grabbing my books and getting in the car. I needed a new sanctuary. Santana and Brittany were both at practice. They would also talk constantly about how hot Puck is, or how hard the routine is. Neither of which I want to listen to. The rest of my friends began to toss slushies in my face when I was tossed out of the cheerios. Crap.

My knuckles turned white as I gripped the steering wheel, willing the tears to stop collecting in her eyes before they fall. Out of the corner of my eye I could see someone exit the building.

Taking this opportunity, I wiped my eyes and jumped out of the car. "Kurt!" My voice was weak and Kurt didn't even twitch, he just continued walking to his car. I think noticed a wire starting from his pocket and splitting into two wires and they led up to his ears.

I cupped my hands around my mouth for one last try. "Kurt!" This time his head whipped in my direction. I could see confusion behind his Coach sunglasses as he pulled his headphones out.

I shuffled my feat under his gaze and said, "Do you wanna hang out?"

He opened his mouth to reply, but I cut in. "I can just follow you to your house? I plastered a smile on my face that was completely fake. Either he bought my sincerity or could see through my charade. It didn't matter either way because in the end he gave me a nod and started towards his car again.

I parked in the street; in front of his drive way. Putting the car in park, I took a deep breath before turning it off and getting out of the car. I left my phone in the passenger seat, taking only my keys as I approached Kurt standing at the top of the drive way. His posture was guarded as he led me into his house. Setting his bag on the counter, he continued his to the kitchen where we found his father biting into a jelly doughnut. A gob of jelly slid down his chin and onto his shirt as he noticed us. I gave him a smile that I use on all of the parents I meet and stuck my hand out. "Hello, my name is Quinn." My ponytail bounced as I said this as cheerful as I possibly could. He stared for a moment, looking confused before he quickly wiped his hand on his jeans.

He gave my hand a firm shake and I could feel residue from the doughnut smearing on my hand. I could see black smudge, probably engine grease, on the back of my hand from his thumb.

"Dad, we're just going to hang out in my room." I look back and forth between the two of them before saying, "Don't worry, sir. We are just going to be studying for a sp-" Kurt cut me off and said, "Quinn. He knows I'm gay." My eyes widened in surprise and my mouth opened and closed a few times, mirroring a fish.

"I'll be in the garage if you need me, Kurt." With that said, Kurt grabbed my wrist and dragged me away from his father as they went their separate ways.

"I know his hand was covered in oil and jelly. I have these wipes that are very good for your skin. Imagine baby wipes on steroids." I saw his mouth twitch as he tried to not smile. He opened his door and motioned for me to take a seat on his bed.

He sat next to me on his bed and handed me the wipes. Taking one, I began to clean my hand to give me something to do. I made sure to wipe my entire hand twice, getting every inch of thoroughly, trying to avoid looking at Kurt.

"So spill." He was concise and to the point. "What?" I feigned innocence and tried to look the part as well.

"I could hear you and Finn arguing about something after glee. Plus I know you've been crying. The area under your eyes is dry and puffy."

"It's nothing, Kurt." I surveyed his room, still not wanting to look at him directly. It was clean and everything was in order. Hair and skin care products were neatly lined up on his dresser. His bed felt like a cloud and she just wanted to lie down and sleep in it.

"So when did you come out to your dad?" It was a simple question that I hope he wouldn't find too invasive. I was enjoying not being in Finn's company. Plus it was a good way to get him off of what happened at Glee today.

"After the football game. He said he knew already." He put a cap on a bottle of moisturizer and stood up to put it on his dresser.

"So he was fine with it?" I finally gave in and leaned back to lay on his bed and stared at his ceiling. Did he vacuum it? It seemed really… clean.

"He is uncomfortable dealing with the emotional aspect of it. My mom was to one to handle those situations. But he loves me and he supports me. Though I doubt I could ever go to him for guy trouble." I felt a dip in the bed as he sat next to me again.

I propped myself up on my elbows and smiled, a laugh bubbling up from my stomach and escaping my lips. "What happened to your mom?"

The smile he was wearing dropped from his face when I said this.

"Nothing, Quinn." He turned away to look at him in the mirror that hangs above his dresser.

_Touché,_ I thought. I let my body relax once more against his bed, letting several minutes pass as I laid there with my eyes closed.

I decided to break the silence with something small. "I love your bed, Kurt." My hands were underneath my blue sweater, slowly rubbing circles on my stomach.

"You should probably go, Quinn."

I opened my eyes and sat up, realizing that I over stayed my welcome. "Yeah," I heard my self say, "Sorry about that."

He didn't answer me and I could feel his eyes staring at the back of my head as I showed myself out the door.

Way to fuck it up, Fabray.


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry about the delay, guys. There are factors that prevent me from using the internet and I must do it when no one is home. I'm still writing, of course. I have most of the next chapter done. It's just finding the alone time to type them up and upload them is the problem. Thanks for the reviews, I know this isn't what you guys want, but I promise that the next chapter is full of Rachel.

Kurt passed me in the hallway while I was on the way to lunch. I felt him slip a note into my hand as our shoulders brushed. Clutching it, I waited until I was safe in the girl's bathroom before opening it.

_Sorry about the other day. Want to hang out tonight?_

Thank God. I was worried I would have to spend more time with Finn. Yesterday I was lucky enough to have him pass out after school, though it ended up with me spending an awkward afternoon alone with his mom. If Finn kept smothering me then I don't know if I could do this and still keep my sanity. I could tell that he felt trapped by this, but he was too much of a decent guy to leave me. So I was lucky to at least have that.

I don't care that he resents this and probably regrets ever dating me. I hate that I am someone's regret, that I am probably Puck's regret as well. That is the one thing that really bothers me. I was Finn's forced choice and he would stay with me only because of the fact that he thinks he is the father.

Puck was crafty and I imagine he would be able to support me and the baby. But I am not an idiot, he would cheat on me the second I close my legs. I was really alone in this and it is something that I have only just begun to accept.

Finn tries to talk to me about the night he sung to my parents. The night everything fell apart at the seams. Folding the note, I put it in my purse before I opened the door and found my self face to face with Rachel Berry. I unsuccessfully suppressed my sneer when my eyes met hers.

"Quinn." Her voice sounded wary, but otherwise friendly when she said my name.

"Still looking as masculine as ever, Berry." When the words left my mouth I could see her expression turn from friendly to guarded and hurt. She stared at me for a moment before pushing me out of the way. I turned to watch her open up a faded red door leading to a stall. I stood in the doorway, contemplating on saying something else. I leaned against the doorway and stared at the dingy tile that was forever stained by the thousands of students who have walked in and out of this very room.

"I thought that you always wanted to do Broadway?" My question hung in the air. I could hear her moving around in the stall, blatantly ignoring my inquiry. I brushed my bangs out of my eyes and left. It's not like I cared what Man Hands wanted to be when she was younger. The hall was still packed and my ears were filled with the roar of a hundred people talking at once. I made my way to the cafeteria where I found Finn in our usual spot at a table in the back.

I sat next to him and he put his arm around me as I bit into the apple he offered me. He was good at pretending, I will give him that.

"Quinn?" I looked up at him and saw that he had this look on his face. It was completely adorable and it was the look that made me fall for him in the beginning. Not so much now.

"I know that you don't like Drizzle. I was an idiot for suggesting it." Finally, something that we can agree on.

"So, I was thinking. What about, Chief?" His eyebrows were raised in excitement and a breath of air left my lungs in a rush.

I shoved him in the ribs and moved away. I couldn't believe how big of an imbecile he is. "Quinn! It's from that ga-" I didn't hear the rest as I pushed myself out of my seat, diving into the sea of students in the cafeteria. He really was an idiot. I could say it over and over again and he wouldn't understand what I meant. I couldn't have this baby with someone who wouldn't take it seriously. But I couldn't do it alone and every day that passes, I find myself more and more alone. My parents were out of the picture and if Finn finds out about Puck, I don't think he would stay.

I hit a locker with my books as I made my way down the hallway and away from Finn. My goal was my car. If I could make it there I would win the game. I turned the corner, not paying attention to the empty hallways to see if there were any teachers patrolling.

"Hey!" A glance over my shoulder told me it was a teacher. I turned my brisk walk into a run, trying to get my touchdown. I had no one cheering me on aside from my unborn daughter.

I could hear the teacher chase me for a few seconds before hearing the sound of a walkie talkie being turned on and spoken into. I continued pushing past the defense line, down the hall, through the door, and on to the rain soaked concrete that led to salvation.

Water was dripping down my face as the skies continued their relentless pouring onto the concrete jungle I called school. I swung my car door open and tossed my books into the passenger seat in victory.

Touchdown.

I pushed my seat back and prayed to God that the foggy windows and the rain would be enough to hide me. My breath came out in gasps as I laid there, my chest heaving up and down.

This was a new habit that I recently picked up. Running away from problems, annoyances. What I wanted most was to run into my father's arms like I did when I was a little girl. I was too exhausted to be furious with Finn, but hatred was slowly coming to a boil in the metaphorical pot.

I tried to explain this to him the other night and he wanted to know if I was making spaghetti. Sometimes I just don't know what originally attracted me to him.

I took in another deep breath, absentmindedly rubbing the seat, bringing up another problem. The car. I dreaded the day my father would knock on Finn's door and ask for the keys. There is no way I can afford a baby and a car. Finn's mother can't take time off of work o take me to my doctor appointment's, either. Sure, there is walking, but his office is nowhere near me. My last resort would be the bus like the losers in Lima use. I would not drop myself to that level.

I poked my head up to glance around the full parking lot. Seeing no one in sight, I started the car so I could listen to the radio, keeping the engine off and pulled the back of my chair up. I could hear the ending of Lean on Me come on and thought about how the glee club sang to Finn and myself that day.

Maybe I could lean on them. My parents certainly don't want anything to do with me. Nor do the cheerios. But Kurt was letting me use him, even if hadn't realized it yet. No, I don't think I could. Too many harsh words have been exchanged and I am not sure if Rachel and I could ever get along. She did give that sleaze ball her underwear, but I wasn't a fool. I know she did it because she is in love with Finn.

I couldn't sit in the parking lot forever. Eventually someone would catch me and I would probably get detention. I glanced around the parking lot through my foggy windows once more before starting the car and making my way to the main road. Luckily there was a Wal*Mart I could go to that was only a few miles down the road. Of course, I had too much dignity to go inside but I could certainly sit in their parking lot until school was over.

I pulled out of the school's lot with no problem and eventually made it to the main road. I was slightly worried that I would get caught, so I relaxed my grip on the wheel once the school was no longer in my rear view mirror. Traffic was non-existent despite the fact that it was lunch time, though the rain could be persuading people to stay inside.

When I reached Wal*Mart I parked amongst the other shoppers to look inconspicuous. I put the car in park and then I turned the engine off. I flipped through radio stations before finding my favorite Christian rock station and settling for its currently soft melodies. I leaned the chair back and closed my eyes, letting myself relax until it sounded as if the rain and music were creating their own duet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I pulled in front of Kurt's House forty minutes after school ended. It felt like an appropriate amount of time to wait. There had been a pause in the rain during my time in the parking lot, but when I began my trek over to Kurt's house it started again. This made me look like a drowned rat when I knocked on the door.

When Kurt answered the door, he smirked and relaxed against the door frame. "Hello, Quinn. You are looking as lovely as ever." He looked me up and down, his eyes pausing at my stomach before his eyes met mine and he inclined his head for me to come inside. He turned away from me when I sneered at him and walked in the direction of his room downstairs.

He walked over to his mirror and used a head band to push his hair back before he began to shape his eyebrows. "Would you like me to do yours? It looks like you got into some male supplements when you were younger."

I raised an eyebrow at that. "You are so full of compliments today, Kurt."

"Is that a no? Shame, I was up to the task, though I would have to get the wax out for you."

This was something I could do. Trade insults. I used to do it quite often though lately I find myself not enjoying it as much. So this was a rare treat. I walked up to stand behind his shoulder and peered at his reflection. "Kurt, you need a different face wash. I think I see some blackheads on your nose." He whipped his head to face me and looked me in the eyes, a serious look shining through his own. He nearly pressed his face into the mirror and started to pull at his skin to see her pores. He didn't relax for several seconds until he was sure that I was just being a bitch.

He glanced at me and put his nose in the air before walking away and sitting on his bed.

"So how are things between you and Finn Hudson?" I was surprised at his inquiry and surely my face showed this before I answered, "Things...could be better. I am being brutally honest when I say that I think he is an idiot. I'm not sure if I want to have this baby with him anymore."

For a split second I thought I saw Kurt visibly perk up when the words spilled from my mouth. But I wasn't sure because the second I saw it, he stood up and walked to my side to give me a hug. Just as fast as he pulled me in his arms, he released me and whatever perk that was in his stance before was now gone and replaced by a sympathy.

I tried to think of common ground as the two of us stood there, feeling awkward about the entire situation. Kurt and I didn't run with the same crowd, limiting the things we could talk about.

"So…who are your celebrity hotties?" He briskly walked to his closet and opened the door. From the top shelf sat a stack of magazines that he grabbed and carefully placed on his bed before he motioned me over. He sat at the top of his bed Indian style while I situated myself at the foot. With the magazine on the bed between us, most of them had one thing in common.

"Ryan Reynolds. I adore him and his movies. He is everyone's dream." Kurt's eyes were shining with excitement as he said this.

This was it. I could easily do this and the conversation wouldn't stop. I just had to pretend to look eager while he carried on about Ryan. That is all I would have to do to keep this escape open to me.

And that's it. I hope you liked it, you should review. Reviews are like crack to me. :p


	3. Chapter 3

Kurt and I began a slowly progressing friendship, hanging out every couple of days. Finn kept asking me what we talked about, why I was suddenly friends with him. I couldn't really give him an answer that wouldn't hurt his feelings. The only time Finn and I would even spend more than five minutes together was lunch, where I was currently tucked under his arm. I could feel his chest rise and fall as I forced myself to endure such a close proximity with him. We were alone, none of the usual crowd with sit with us anymore after everyone found out I was pregnant and kicked off of the Cheerios.

I took a bite of my apple, juice running down my chin and dropping onto my arm. Wiping my mouth with a napkin, I tried to hide my pained expression. I could feel it becoming harder and harder as the moments passed, complete silence between Finn and myself.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see him glancing my way, trying to be inconspicuous about it. After the third glance, he turned his head to face me, "Quinn, are you okay? You look like you're in pain…" His voice trailed off at the end, the unspoken words causing my stomach to churn. I shook my head, no able to find words to satisfy his answer.

"Is it your stomach? Maybe you should drink some water." The concern in his voice caused my stomach to churn even more; I could feel the bile on the back of my tongue. I nodded before standing up abruptly and storming from the cafeteria.

I practically kicked the door down to the bathroom, launching myself into a stall right as I emptied the contents of my stomach into the porcelain bowl. I didn't notice that I wasn't alone until I heard her voice.

"A-a-are you okay?"

It was Tina.

I felt her pulling my hair out of my face as I retched. Another voice joined Tina's, though I couldn't make out the words as I gasped for air. I felt another pair of hands pulling my hair into a ponytail before a body joined mine on the floor, a hand tentatively rubbing my back. I tried to hold the tears of shame back, knowing that this wouldn't be the last time I would find myself on the bathroom floor. Hopefully it would be the last time at school or I wouldn't be able to show my face until after graduation.

My throat felt like it was on fire as I began to dry heave once again. The tears were starting to flow freely down my face as I took a deep shuddering breath. I felt tissues being pressed against my wet cheeks in an attempt to dry them as the salty liquid ran down my face like a waterfall.

I could barely make out the shape of the person sitting beside me. I could see her skin was tan and her hair brown and long. I wiped my eyes again and closed them, letting myself be weak for a moment as I leaned against my mystery person for support. My throat was burning, my eyes were burning, and I could feel my stomach churn in shame and morning sickness.

"Are you okay?" Just by hearing her voice and I could tell that Tina had left me and I was being cared for by Rachel Berry; the woman that must hate me most of all, the one who I have tormented through out high school. I couldn't even begin to fathom why she would sit here and nurse me through my morning sickness.

My voice was raspy as I addressed her, "Why are you helping me, Berry?" My eyes focused on her face as her concerned face became guarded. "Just because we hate each other, doesn't mean I can't be nice." I felt my bottom lip being sucked into my mouth as I bit down on it after hearing her words. She hated me? I don't think I could hate her. I don't think I ever hated her. I have always been jealous of her voice and her strength, but I have never felt hatred towards her despite how I treat her most of the time we interact.

"I'm sorry." I don't know if it was the sincerity of my words or maybe the fact that I had just thrown up in the girl's room of my high school bathroom, but Rachel's face softened in sympathy. I was sorry for all of the times I called her man-hands, RuPaul, and every name under the sun. I was sorry for causing her to miss lunch because I was throwing up. I was sorry for the drama I caused in Glee and for taking Finn from her.

Wordlessly, she helped me to my feat and cleaned me up. By some miracle I didn't get anything on me and I used Rachel's face wipes to help make sure I didn't reek with the putrid stench of half digested breakfast. Unfortunately she only had a few tic tacs and no tooth paste, leaving my breath something to be desired. I used water from her bottle to clean my mouth as best as I could before popping the breath mints.

She stood to the side and watched silently as I did this, I tried to stop my face from turning a bright shade of red as a lump caught in my throat. Rachel helping me clean up was only making the guilt stronger.

"Liste-" I tried to thank her for everything, but she silenced me with the shake of her head. "It's fine." I attempted to swallow the lump that hadn't left my throat, but failed. "I have to get to class, Quinn." She turned on her heel and promptly left me alone in the porcelain prison. I didn't blame her; she was probably scared I would shove her head into the toilet I became intimate with.

I stared at the floors caked with grime and dirt as I tried to decide what I should do. I felt my eyes follow the pattern on the dingy tile as my mind wandered. I knew I couldn't go back and face Finn after running out of the cafeteria. In fact, I just wanted to shove my head into a hole and hide from the world. I toyed with the thought of moving to Africa with the ostriches before I pulled my gaze from the floor and brought it to eye level. Everyone expected me to be the same strong girl I was before I quit the Cheerios.

I checked my phone and noted it nearly time for the bell to ring. I would wait it out and exit the bathroom with my head held high in front of the student body. The sound of the air conditioner whirring overhead became deafening in the silence as I tried to stay calm. It felt like thousands of ants were crawling under my skin as I struggled to stand still, the feeling grew and grew until I could feel an overwhelming sense of panic consume me. I knew I couldn't stay here.

My eyes jumped around the room, trying to look at everything at once. The red door with paint peeling off of it, the stained sink that was now a cream instead of white, and the rusted pipes that ran into the wall underneath the sink. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath just as the bell rang, making me jump. The harsh bell gave me a surge of energy as if I drank a glass of sugar water mixed with caffeine. I lunged for the door, whipping it open and stepping outside and into the masses. The students ran through the hallways like a swarm of bees, bumping and pushing each other as if a rock band was playing and the hallways were a giant mosh pit. I cradled my stomach protectively and tried to push my way towards my locker. I felt an arm wrap around my waist and a body press to my side as I attempted such a dangerous feat.

I looked up and met Finn's eyes, I gave him a small smile and he nodded, pulling me closer as he acted as a shield while he led me to my locker. This was something that left a bitter taste in my mouth that could rival the bile that passed my lips a mere twenty minutes ago. I felt horrible for everything I did to Finn and I hoped to God he would never find out.

When we made it through the throng of students and to my locker, Finn handed me my books that I left with him at lunch, I gave him a grateful smile and kissed him on the cheek. I know Finn will be an amazing husband one day, but unfortunately I knew it would not be me he will marry.

I let myself be led by him down the hall and to my next class, trying to quench the uneasy feeling threatening to take over me. I would have to hold out as long as possible. I really couldn't do this alone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I cradled my books to my chest, imagining it was my little girl. I took slow and careful steps down the hallway, taking my time as I made my way out to the care. Glee had just finished with practice and it was late after school, meaning I was the sole occupant of the current hallway. Finn didn't come to practice today; instead he chose to go home to take care of something at home. I had my eyes to the floor, looking at my skirt swirling around me as I walked.

When I opened the door to freedom, I noticed the sun was still outside, bright and shining. I had to let out a sigh of relief considering the day I had. I was hoping this was a sign of good things to come. I sat on the opposite side of the room from Rachel Berry, ignoring both her and Tina the entire practice to try and hide my shame. I thought I saw Rachel trying to get my attention several times during practice, but seeing as I was a professional at being a bitch, it was easy to ignore her futile attempts. Even Finn played along with me, though he couldn't keep his eyes off of her when she left the practice room.

My slow and languid walk came to an end when I reached my car. I pulled the keys out of my pocket and pushed the key into the lock to allow myself to get in. I heard the sound of a car door closing behind, probably Kurt. I know he parked somewhere over here. I hummed the latest song choice for Glee, There She Goes by Sixpence None the Richer. Mr. Schuster wanted us sing it a few times and see what we felt about the song. It was a catchy song, one that easily would get stuck in your head as it seemed to be in mine at the moment.

My solo was interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat. I leaned over the driver's side of the car to toss my books into the passenger seat before I pulled myself out of the car and turned around. A gasp of surprise left me as I came face to face with the last person I thought it would be.

"Mom?"


End file.
